Hear me roar.


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I’ve been chewing on something for a few days now.  I’ve tried to understand it but I’m still annoyed.

I’m a TODAY show watcher.
Great piece this week on Date Rape drug detecting nail polish.  You paint your nails, you go out and you can swirl your drink and the nail color will change if it has been spiked with the date rape drugs.  Great idea, damn fine job. Freaking completely awesome that it was 4 college student men who are looking to really get this concept out into reality. I love when humans love humans.

Now, if you click on the link above and watch the short video, there is a part about how things like this “do not work”.  Some women’s groups make me cringe and in my mind they are a big feminism fail!  It is called “well-intentioned” but its insinuated that it adds to the fuel of blaming woman for sexual assault.  We make women own the responsibility for not being raped?

What. The. Hell?  -I don’t know who this lady on this clip is but the moment I heard it as I was watching earlier this week, I was ready to ask her if she was an idiot.

take charge

Yes ma’am, ABSOLUTELY! Women do need to own the responsibility!  Obviously, no one else is going to own it and we cannot expect attackers to stop.  Never going to happen.   Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I will tell you just a few reasons why I think it should be OUR responsibility….and what I will teach my own daughters.  (*it is also our responsibility to be teaching our sons how to be good men. I do not have sons and this is a whole other post but don’t count that out!)

–> { EDIT:  This is PRE-assault talk.  Any assaults that take place are OF COURSE not the woman’s fault.  This is hypothetical and  my intentions are for women to empower themselves to not only have fun in life but to protect themselves while doing it.  Love to you all who have been affected any way by sexual assaults.} <–

  • My husband is a firefighter.  Gone for at least 24 hours at the time, sometimes 120 hours at the time.  I am alone, a lot.  I need to be able to pay attention to detail, my surroundings and any threats.
  • I LOCK MY DOORS nearly at all times at home but most certainly at night.  WHY?  Because some jackass might try to break in and a locked door will at least slow them down.
  • When I go to town, I lock my vehicle.  WHY?  Because some criminal might try to steal it or rummage through it.  If they break a window they will be disappointed by the lack of goods they will find.
  • I have many various insurance policies.  WHY?  Because I’d like to be protected against accidents, natural disasters, malicious acts of crime or acts of God.
  • My 9mm is not to be badass (that just happens on its own), it is to protect myself and my family because I often do 99% of everything away from home ALONE and spend 75% of my time at home alone.  Someone has to be prepared.
  • I arm my 13-year-old with a cell phone.  She needs a way to call me in the event there is an emergency.  Anywhere.  Anytime.

This nail polish idea is just a piece of it.  Yes it is great for those who want to go to a party, club, bar, blind date or lots of other places and know they’ll be able to detect a threat.  GOOD FOR THEM for protecting themselves.

How else should women be protecting themselves?  Don’t go to a party and get so high and so drunk that you pass out.  NO, it is NOT right that anyone take advantage of that situation but it happens and we all know it happens and THAT is why we should not put ourselves in these situations.

You don’t go walking in dark ally ways or bad areas alone right?  Who does that?

Use the buddy system.

Tell someone where you are going with who.  Always give your friends/family more information than they need.  You never know.

Don’t go in private with men you do not know.  Crowds are good.  In public is good.  Don’t be alone with people you do not trust or do not know.

It IS our place to be safe.  Are we to wander through life expecting others to do what is right?  Locks are only good for honest men.


My husband coming home after responding to a sexual assault on a tween, a little shaken and saying we need to talk to our own kid, confirmed my thoughts months ago.  The girl went out at night walking around with a boy and he dragged her into someone’s shed.  In their own neighborhood.  Assaulted her.  Scary, scary stuff.

Please, protect yourselves.
Your daughters, nieces, friends…. all women.

Hear me roar, I want to hear you roar.

Be smart.  Be safe.  Be PROUD to be this way.