I know so many people who have more help than any one person needs. It’s almost annoying to hear anyone who gets so much help complain about not getting any help! Being married to a fireman, you either get help from family and friends or you don’t. You either have a support system, or if you are like me, you don’t. Helpful family is few and far between for us. We don’t see a lot of family and we certainly don’t have many friends. I am so far behind and so far under! I’d love to have help keeping my kids out of my hair while I clean or do yard work, not to even mention manage to spend a small amount of time with my fireman from time to time.

I’ve been dealing with everything alone for the last few weeks. While I’d love to say I have it all together, I don’t. The house is clean but cluttered. The yard needs mowing. The huge porch that I loved when we looked at buying this house has become something I hate, it is in desperate need of a cleaning. My room looks like that of a teenagers. I have fall decorations all in my dinning room since I am planning my sister’s fall baby shower. The kids rooms are hideously disgusting. I cleaned the little one’s room yesterday, yet today you really can’t tell. The oldest had homework that she didn’t mention as she stay with grandparents all weekend and now has hours of homework to catch up on by tonight because it is due tomorrow and Wednesday. Bills are behind because I just haven’t had time to sit down and pay them. I have movies I need to return. I have a few loads of laundry I need to do. Dishes to wash. Pumpkin seeds to plant…. I could probably go on for a few more paragraphs but I’ll stop. I feel so alone some days. It’s tough trying to be mama, daddy, man of the house and get everything done and caught up. I’d love to be able to do it and smile at the end of the day.

I’d love even more to have a small break now and then. Just with the youngest one being full blown in terrible two phase, I stay busy and batty! The husband has been working a lot between stations and on his projects he has going on around the house. He works so much that I hate to complain when he is trying to work on projects that he wants done. He gives so much but I give a lot as well. He does help, and more than most husbands I know at that. I just feel overwhelmed.

Until next time.