The last few weeks have been filled with tragedy. I have tons of “friends” on Facebook and I have been reading about deaths, accidents and suicides for three weeks. It seems to come in spurts. A few good weeks/months, then all of a sudden people are dropping like flies. What gives?
A lady in the next town over lost her husband to stroke earlier in this year. I do not know her, but her name is Melanie. A week ago yesterday, her 16-year-old son, shot and killed himself. I’m not sure why, but I do know that suicide scares me so bad. To feel that low, lonely and hopeless, breaks my heart. Well, yesterday morning, her ex-husband (Tyler’s father) shot and killed HIMSELF! What?! This lady has lost three important men in her life, this year, two by self-inflicted wounds. How does one cope with that?
(Today is suicide prevention day, please if you ever feel these urges, TALK to someone. Find someone and tell them that you need help. There are hotlines and websites for people who feel the same way. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, as lonely as you may feel, there are others who know exactly how you feel. There is no shame in needing someone. We ALL need someone to talk to. If you think someone is depressed and feeling that there is no hope, reach out to them. We all need love and should love each other, unconditionally.)
I have a friend that is trying her damnedest to cope with her mother’s passing. She has been battling stage 4 colon cancer for a while, we thought it was better, and it came back, full force. She is currently at home, with Hospice. Circulation has started moving away from extremities and into the core, she is literally dying. This friend loves her mama, as we all do, but we all thought and just KNEW she had this beat. CANCER REALLY SUCKS!
A 16 year old girl was struck and killed when she pulled into the path of a semi truck. I’m not sure the details, I just don’t want to face them.
Quite a few people have died from “natural” causes. So many young people. Old people. In between people.
If I had to count how many people have died in the last two to three weeks, just locally, I’d have to use all ten fingers for sure. This seems to come in waves. A few weeks/months of nothing, and then a few weeks of heartache. I wonder if being so empathetic is a gift because a lot of the time I feel like it is a curse. I cry way too much, and usually it is for other people who I have never met.
I should be use to death and tragedy, I hear about it all the time from the DH. Sometimes those in the public safety field acquire a dark sense of humor and sometimes he might come home and tell me he killed one last night. He obviously means that someone died on his watch, that he was unable to save them. I’ll never get use to hearing it though, but whatever helps him cope.
Today, 11 years ago, was the last day for so many people to live their normal lives. 11 years ago, were we afraid of mass attacks? I don’t remember! I don’t remember being afraid of anything before 9/11. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of something so tragic. I guess tonight, I need to make sure my 11 year old remembers what happened and prepare her for in case they talk about it at school. She was only two months old.
This is why my first post, Starting Fires, came about. I want to find purpose for my empathy. Let it be a blessing. I want to LIVE. I want to LAUGH. I want to LOVE. I want to do all of these things without worry, fear or letting stupid selfish feelings get in the way. I want to enjoy the people in my life, regardless of if I agree with them a lot of the time. You don’t have to like people to love them. I want to laugh, like a lunatic! I want to love, without care of who will think what! I want to live my life, free and happy. There is only ONE life, we often wait until it’s too late to realize what the important things in life really are. For me, they are my little family. Making sure my husband feels my love and just how deep it runs. Making sure my children grow up with the want to live freely, love freely and laugh LOUDLY. I talk too much, laugh too loud and cry too often. I want to remember that at any time, my life can be snatched right out of my hands. Or the lives of my loved ones. I don’t want to look back and have lingering regrets of what I should have or would have done!
So today, I want to live like it’s my last day and love like there is no tomorrow, because how do we know? Be open. Forgive. Love. Share. Live a life worth living and leave a legacy of love and happiness, even in hard times, for those who you leave and those who yet have come.