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What are uniform chasers? Groupies. Fire floozies. Badge bunnies. Hose hoes, or hose hoochies. Truck tamps. Rank skanks. I can think of a few more but they aren’t really appropriate for a lady to say and I’m practicing. These aren’t unicorns, they are real and thrive. Probably in dark needy places but that’s just my guess.

This comes up every so often in conversation among fire wives. I have personally never dealt with any of the above terms. I’ve had a few red-faced convos about female workers, specifically… not in general but never a groupie. That would be a whole other post. I assume these females fall into the trap of public safety stereotypes. Sometimes I see them on Facebook, especially on pages that I will not name because they claim to raise funds for certain things, so I hope they do I just hate that they use sexuality and firefighting to do it. I hate the photos of hairless, tanned, shirtless firefighter who look like they are probably playing for the other team. Or half-naked. Or sexing up some half-dressed groupie looking skin in a dress… πŸ™‚ I’ll stop. Even their gear is spotless clean and look freshly pressed. Yuck to me! I assume SOME are real fireman, others are models. They’re all a little too much for my liking. Some of you fire wives like this and that is fine….. you ladies aren’t groupies, I’m just sayin that ain’t my type of sexy.

What kind of man looks sexy in bunker gear? Real men. Suspenders over a tshirt of a man who has sweat dripping from his brow. Men who don’t have a layer of 6 inch muscles holding his helmet up. Men in dirty, worn out gear. Men with hair, not too much (unless you like that bear type of man). Men who have laugh lines. Men with mustaches, (given they are appealing πŸ™‚ ) Men who can tell a story with the way they handle themselves while working a scene. I like real men, even some chunky men make the gear look sexy but it’s more than a visual thing. It’s the need to help. The sacrifice they are willing to make. The compassion for humanity regardless of color or creed that is so attractive. It’s the sadness on the face of a man who done all he could, yet it wasn’t enough. It is that raw emotion that makes them some of the most awesome human beings that I will have ever meet. That’s all my opinion though, take it for what you will. I’m not a Magic Mike type of girl… all that strip dance from a man makes me laugh and feel like the audience should also be male but that’s just me, I’m not knocking it.


The one time that sticks out in my head when I looked at my husband a thought, DAMN, that is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. He was wearing all black dress clothes with a white tie. He was sitting in a metal fold out chair in front of his grandpa who was in a recliner. In one hand he had a huge syringe filled with Ensure and the other he held Grandpa’s feeding tube port. They were talking back and forth about something while he just done what needed to be done. Grandpa had been on a feeding tube for years and years and his hands weren’t strong enough to do it. That one moment is burned into my memory for all of time. RIP, Grandpa (11/17/2011) Rejoice in Paradise!!!

Anywho, back from my little mini mind vacation there, back to the groupies.

I am sure that most of these groupie type girls/women think the jobs are glamorous. It’s all kittens in trees and toting little old ladies from safe burning houses. They don’t know what it’s like to wait and wonder if your fireman is ok. They have NO idea what it is like to raise kids while daddy is working multiple shifts. They wouldn’t like the attitudes and relationship problem that come because loving a man in a uniform is hard work. They say being a fireman is hard, as a fire wife, I think we tie at the least. We have hard jobs. Groupies often find this out and run for the hills. The jobs aren’t all sexy and fun. That’s good though, not everyone is cut out to love a fireman. Or a cop, or medic or military person at that. They leave the real men for the real women who can really love them like they need.

Do you know any? Caused problems in a marriage? Had to be run off? Beat any down? πŸ™‚