There are sometimes several days that pass that are just super stressful. During these days I am thankful that I tend to be aware of my emotions and like to shut down when I feel like I am getting irrational. I am very thankful for my shut-down mode. Some people hate it but it really saves me time and from having to apologize.
I’m going to shed all the ooey gooey goodness about how I am a proud Fire Wife, how wonderful my husband is most of the time and how much my kids seem so much better after being around others and just get unpleasant for a minute. I’m going to let it all hang out and share the ugly, sometimes normal, truth. Everyone has a stress point, and at that stress point things tend to start getting a little bit ugly. Ok, sometimes a little bit ugly turns into some really ugly shizz.
Between bad communication of online products vs products sold in stores, lack of patience, prices, drive time and taking small kids into stores who behave like they have no home training, yesterday was a real pain in the behind for a short bit. Like, I nearly had to bite my tongue completely off not to say something I didn’t mean. When mad or upset, I clam up. I seal my lips and think about what and how I am feeling and try to work it out in my head and resolved all bits of crazy before letting my feelings out of my mouth. Let’s face it, most of us ladies have a level of crazy… it varies woman to woman and most of them don’t know or refuse to acknowledge it. All women have a level of crazy. Men, don’t let this make you feel validated because all men have a level of inconsiderate jerk, again… levels vary!
Anyway, back from crazy la la land.
To make a long and rather boring story shorter, an impatient husband who makes a habit of rushing into decisions and not listening to his older and wiser wife was having a moment inside of a department store yesterday. The kids were both joining in on the moment with the youngest one opening a bottle of nail polish and putting it on like lipstick and the oldest crying because well, she cries… a lot! Everyone was acting insane and no one was calming down long enough to take responsibility for their actions or just breathing and letting things chill. One kid crying, one trying her best to run away from us and the biggest one of all in the mist of a breakdown.
I’m sorry, would he like to trade places and be mommy for a week? His little stress level was self induced all because he was impatient and mistaken.
Everyone hit A-hole mode so we abandoned the buggy (This would be shopping cart to all you yanks 😉 )
There were less than appropriate words being said.
Ok, a lot of words.
Tons of teeth clinching.
Urges to just duct tape the kids together, including covering the mouths.
I kept my lips tight and a steady breath.
I refused all words trying to pry them open, none of which were nice.
I kept them under control and tried to console the husband who desperately needed a hug and reassuring. He was just really at a melting point and I’m sure had one more thing ruffled his feathers, he would have flipped his lid for serious.
Sometimes I think there are things that happen at work, that is out of his control that he could never get the chance to make a change. I know there are things that annoy him and he has no outlet for it. I know that all that anxiety that has to build up, has to find a way out. My poor firefighter is normally a pretty easy going person with a few quirks. This day he was just a ball of nerves. Possible lack of sleep. Who knows.
He noticed. He absolutely noticed that while I did turn into a a block of pure ice, I was in control. I didn’t lash out or cause more tension. I didn’t say anything I was going to have to apologize for. I just let him throw his fit because we all need to sometimes. I let him run all that out and just let it go. He noticed, he thanked me and he definitely got brownie points.
There are times that I get rowdy and have a slip of the lip but not often. If I’m arguing it is because I feel I am rational and right. All other times I seal it shut.
Do you spend more time apologizing than being right? Apologies are great, unless you are always having to hand them out.