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I’ve thought a few times about what I would feel if my firefighter lost his life in the line of duty. When I think about it, it’s always an explosion, collapse or becoming engulfed in flames. Gunshot? Never crossed my mind until this morning.

It’s Christmas Eve.
Two volunteer firemen killed, two injured. The hell!? My heart is broken for these families, fire families and community. I would never have thought about some of our nation’s largest cities having to have bulletproof vests for public safety other than LOEs. Reading some of my fellow fire wives talk about their husband’s having vests freaks me out. I had it together until then.

I cannot comprehend hate. The ability to fire a gun at someone for a reason other than protection. The mentally ill, I get, they are not of sound mind.

LODD: Police officer. 30 year old woman Break my heart. It is Christmas Eve, what in the name of God is there shooting for anyway? I bet she thought she’d be going home after her shift for Christmas. Now nothing but tears and a terrible memory for Christmas Eve.

Today, a fire family is laying their precious little boy to rest. On Christmas Eve. Unsure on details, but it is on of those freak natural things that happen. Such sadness. Such a horrible time of year for tragedy. Next year when everyone is busy and excited, these families will be remembering the 1 year anniversary of this horrible day. It’s not fair. It just isn’t.

I try to remember this as we’re getting ready to go have supper with my FF at the station. It’s Christmas, everyone should be safe, but they aren’t. It’s ridiculous. I don’t even know how to explain how ridiculous it is in my head. How sad it feels. How pissed off I am.

I hope each and every one of you have a very Merry Christmas Eve and Day and all make it home. I pray there is some sort of peace that the families will feel. I pray for them all.

Thank God for Christmas, the birth of Christ. I’m off to enjoy the chaos. I hope you all do too!