It can be awkward making new friends.
It can get more awkward the older you get.
32 and making new friends is easier in the fact that I’m no longer uncomfortable with strangers but harder when I consider how many people have really hurt me. Hurt based on them not understanding or giving me what I needed from friendships. Friendships can be hard, especially when you’re too nice to be honest sometimes. I’ve been blessed to recently make a new friend who is not only a firefighter’s wife, but has two kids of her own and gets that on my husband’s day off, we use that as family time because her husband also works two full-time jobs. Having a friend who gets the schedule and the way some of us fire families work, is such a breath of fresh air.
She lives about 20 miles from me but I met her online.
I let her online and then, in person a few months later.
We’ve had a few play dates so far and I feel like family.
We had a bathroom conversation today that made my 12-year-old tell us we were gross.
What’s funny? We haven’t met each other’s husbands yet! They both work two full-time fire jobs (that is 4 separate departments between them at that!) and that means working 48/24. Their schedules are staggered, my FF’s first 24 is her ff’s off day… We still haven’t gotten the hang of keeping up with each other’s schedules…. we can barely keep up with our own! I jokingly suggested a synced Google Calendar for US. So they only get 24 off, both have Sunday Kelly Days so at least every third weekend they are off… That 24 off is family time. for both of us. We’ll work on getting all 8 of us together sometime but I’m hoping for some just 4 of us double dates.
It was sad to hear how many people leave her out of things (Funny how I felt badly for her even though she was telling MY STORY too) She is a SAHM also. Two boys, 2 and 4. A little girl due soon. Most friends and family who do not grasp how the shift workers schedules are, aren’t very considerate. There are some that are and they rock, but most are not like that. She feels like no one invites her places, invites themselves over or even thinks about the times, events and holidays she spends alone. I get that. No one ever just checks in on me. Asks if I need anything. How am I. Are the kids doing ok. I get it. She lives my life.
I like people my firefighter works with, but I haven’t made a connection with any of them like this. I like them, I enjoy seeing them at the station but that is about the just of it. I’m thankful I have this one, if I only ever have one, she would be enough. The only thing that could make it better is if they lived closer and we were rich.
I wish every fire wife (or girlfriend) had that connection with at least one other wife/gf. It’s tough. If you don’t have one… put yourself out there. If you do have one, be ever grateful and treat them how you want to be treated. If you have many, consider yourself blessed!