There are things in the world that seem silly to me.
The whole role-playing for adults. (Get out of the gutter, I’m talking magical kingdoms and reenacting mystical wars) Lawnmower racing. Going gaga over Royalty across the pond. Yep. That list could go forever. None of that appeals to me, but other people like it. It doesn’t hurt me that they like it and I’m ok with the fact that they like it and I don’t.
Now. I just literally rolled my eyes thinking about this. I read on a forum someone having a total misconception of what we “firefighter wives” do or talk about. WHY are we a group or some cheesy club. Some people wonder what in the world do “Firefighter wives” together? Why do you have this special club, meeting or get together? Do you just bitch about your husbands? Talk about how they cheat on you? Bash the firehouse? All things I have heard or read. I’ve had to listen to the “That’s just stupid” comments because I’m in a group full of women who love firemen.
We love our husbands. Stop, if I hear hero-worship, I’ll puke. I do not “worship” my husband. I do hold him as close to the center of my heart that I possibly can because I love him immensely and would love him just as much if he were a garbage collector, dog catcher or if he worked at McDonald’s. I’m proud to be the wife of a fireman because of a few simple facts. Firefighters serve and protect. They run in when others are running out. They get to drive big trucks with lots of lights and sirens. They take pride in themselves but never call themselves heroes. They train and train and take class after class. They are for the people of the community. Granted, there are ahole firefighters out there, but I think generally anyone who works in the field of public safety have genuinely good hearts. I love good hearts. Compassion is one the sexiest things I have seen with my own two eyes.
We also bond over being alone, a lot. Anywhere from 24 hours to many 24s in a row, we are alone dealing with everything. M-F 8-5ers don’t usually see the big deal……….. because they don’t live it. We have to be mommy and daddy. We have to handle all of the house work and sometimes the yard work. We have to shuttle the kids around to dr appts, school functions and the holidays. The Holidays? We often spend those alone, or with family feeling alone because our other halves aren’t there. We juggle days around and celebrate on other days. We know that it sucks when your husband comes off shift and heads straight for the bed because he was up all night. We know that it is terrifying when there is a huge fire going on for hours and hours and you haven’t heard a peep from him. We know that it is like when they have had to deal with an infectious person, the testing and the waiting to see. We know what having them home but with their nose in a damn book for weeks and weeks and weeks feels like. We know what it feels like to sleep alone. To hear a noise in the middle of the night. For those who aren’t as delicate as some (and that is ok!!!) we know how to mend a fence, change a tire or run a critter off the porch. We know what it’s like to hear far too much, “Where is your husband?”. Or the great part is listening to people talk about how they work too much and “can’t he just take a day off?”…………… We talk about our kids. About intimate issues. PTSD. Bad calls. Handling the bad attitudes that come after bad shifts or lack of sleep. Balancing family time with down time. We walk about uplifting each other and building strong marriages because divorce rates are horrible but when you throw in a public safety job, it skyrockets. We are supporting, encouraging and loving.
It isn’t hero-worship that brings us together.
It’s the awful parts of being married to a man in the fire service, but not complaining, seeking that “Hey, ME TOO!” feeling. Looking for that reassurance that this is just “a bad season, it will pass”. Looking for those tips to place that spark back in the marriage and hey, the bedroom! It’s being proud that we’re married to selfless men. The ups and downs of a firefighter marriage. Unless you’re one of us, you likely won’t get it… no matter how much I explain.
The most simple way to explain…
We are family.