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When my firefighter is on shift, I am never too far from my phone.
I generally keep it pretty close at all times…
but even more so when he is gone.

Showering? It’s by the sink.
Cooking? It’s on the counter.
Working on the computer? It’s right beside me.
Driving? It’s by my gear shifter.
Working in the yard? It’s in my pocket.
Sleeping? It’s a foot from my head.

I may be a tad obsessed with the fear of missing a call.
Not just an innocent calls… but the ones we dread as fire wives.

In my relationship with my husband, I’ve received two calls that really freaked me out. The first, we were just dating for a few months and he had just left my house. He hadn’t felt good but being a volunteer, when his pager went off on his ride home, he responded. Long story short, when in POV, please slow down. He ran off the road and hit a tree head on, trying to avoid slamming into the fire truck that slowed suddenly to make a turn. Knocked him out of his shoes. Truck totaled. Phone rang and the id said it was him, I answered to have some lady asking if this was his girl friend… My first thought wasn’t good but it wasn’t a wreck. She informed me she was with the EMS service and he had been in a wreck. I beat the ambo to the hospital. He was ok but my nerves were shot.

The second was two weeks before our wedding, a few years later. He was a freshly new career firefighter. It was a Saturday and they were all heading to HQ for training. One of the guys was struck by a semi that had run a stop sign. (There may have been medical issues or something that caused this) He spent one of his first days on a paying shift fighting for the life of this fireman, who was at risk of burning alive, sadly the truck driver didn’t make it. They saved the fireman, who was never able to return to work due to injuries. During clean up and overhaul of the totaled fire truck, a battery exploded and went all over my fireman. Again, my phone rang and the id said it was my love. I answered, it was the Chief. That will freak you out. He was quick to explain everything was ok, that he was taking my firefighter to the hospital because of his eyes, contacts and the battery acid. He said he was fine but he would have to have someone drive him home because he didn’t have glasses to replace his contacts. His eyes were fine, thank God. Just some good ole eye drops for two weeks… so not only was he sporting one of those creepy type moustaches back then, he also had to wear his glasses, that he hated, to the wedding. I say that’s a small price to pay since he didn’t have any lasting problems with his vision.

That is why I keep my phone so close.
These things are with me, forever.

I’d never forgive myself if he ever tried to make a last call and I didn’t answer it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anxiety over it or make it a large deal. It’s not that I think it WILL happen but I know that there is always a slim possibility. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

I have a feeling I’m not the only one.