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It’s Sunday night.
Less than 12 hours to go in the 48.
I should be happy, yet I am not.

(Insert some sad emoticon here; I’m horrible about finding something visually appealing and totally relating to my writing… I apologize halfheartedly for that. My brain doesn’t function enough to plan and my writing is always spur of the moment. Imagine a pale white lady, dark hair with graying, wrinkles around the eyes and a big fat frown……… BOOM… it’s me, in a mental picture. Maybe I am just mental. ANYWHO…)

Tomorrow is full. Chores. Speech therapy. Graduation for the FF’s volunteer class tomorrow night. I HATE when things start at 7pm, especially when it’s something my husband has to attend and is off. He’ll leave at 6 and everyone will be in bed by the time he gets home. I’m already dreading it, fighting to not resent it. He is instructor and I am proud of all of his hard work, I’m just having a bad day. It isn’t looking like I’ll get to spend much time with him. He needs to mow the grass, if the weather permits. No sitter to be found to attend graduation with him, that is no shocker. No excitement to be found for his day off and even worse, I’m so disappointment in myself for that.

This week has been horrible and I am glad it is over. It’s been one thing right after another, lots of small things adding up to one tired, annoyed, in dire need of a break mama/wife. My body is out of whack and I think it needs an oil change and tune-up. Is this what getting old feels like? Sometimes I think maybe, during all of this alone time, I have become completely bonkers………… All the best people are… so says the Hatter…

I’m going to try to push through and enjoy the little bit of time I can squeeze in tomorrow, but the cynic inside is already thinking about him going back in… to those damn 48’s… again on Tuesday. I’m rushing through the day that hasn’t even come yet. Isn’t that insane.

Have a good week, people.
Try to slow down and enjoy it, when you can.
I’ll be trying to do the same.

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