, , , , , , ,

FirefighterWife.com has a membership that is a paid membership called The Fire Wife Sisterhood.  You can click those links if interested.  It’s not just for wives, any woman dating or engaged to a fireman is also invited to take part. It’s one of those close knit groups that I found a while back looking to feel a little less lonely in the fire wife life, and I’ve never been part of any other group. It’s my one and only and I absolutely love it. I’m not going to benefit by you joining, in case your wondering, but I am part of the advisor panel. I do a lot of behind the scenes type things, even though I’m barely technical enough to do this blog.  Maybe I am biased about this group but the numbers are speaking for themselves and there is a wide range of women from all walks of life.

Sometimes that group speaks to me when I least expect it. Something will be posted at the perfect time. Something will trigger a memory of a post I can go search back for. Things will be clear as day all of a sudden.


Today… The last few days have been hard.  I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve for the world to use.  I want everyone to have a good life.  I don’t want anyone to suffer, to hurt or to do without.  I cry for those who cry and hurt for those who hurt.  I HAVE to learn to control this beast curse called the gift of empathy.  I sit here and my heart is broken for so many people and I have to tell myself to mind my own business unless specifically asked for help, or there is an obvious need to intrude.  I just want it fixed but I must learn it is not my place to fix, only to support.

This was posted in the Sisterhood a few days ago and as I sit here in tears wondering how do I carry the weight of the world with only my two hands……. I remembered a post about “Fixers”.  I’m not suppose to carry the weight of the world… that responsibility is not my own.  I am to do what I can within my limits and that doesn’t include trying to fix anyone or anything that isn’t MY OWN.

Who tries to be a fixer? You know when your friend is hurting and you are trying to say all the right things? We can’t be fixers always. So often we must just “be” and listen for what The Lord wants us to do or say. Grieve with those who grieve is biblical.

Jesus calling November 30

Problems are part of life. They are inescapable: woven into the very fabric of this fallen world. You tend to go into problem-solving mode all too readily, acting as if you have the capacity to fix everything. This is a habitual response, so automatic that it bypasses your conscious thinking. Not only does this habit frustrate you, it also distances you from Me.

Do not let fixing things be your top priority. You are ever so limited in your capacity to correct all that is wrong in the world around you. Don’t weigh yourself down with responsibilities that are not your own. Instead, make your relationship with Me your primary concern. Talk with Me about whatever is on your mind, seeking My perspective on the situation. Rather than trying to fix everything that comes to your attention, ask Me to show you what is truly important. Remember that you are en route to heaven, and let your problems fade in the Light of eternity.

Please don’t take this as a religious push, I’m really not even sure where my place is exactly in the world of religion right now. I’m on a journey that has been a 180 from just this time last year.  I’m not pushing, only laying it here for you to read.  No matter what you leave out, it’s still true.  The world is so full of suffering…

How do I survive the life of a firefighter’s wife trying to fix the world?  I cannot fix the world.  I must train myself to stop trying to do this.  I must redirect my focus and learn to appropriately respond to the world full of suffering.